Here's the scenario: Julie, a hardworking secretary, lent funds to her good friend Ray; $1300 to be exact. Ray had just moved to a brand new town and claimed that he really needed two totally new suits: one for an upcoming wedding and one to wear on job interviews.
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Ray lived in a gorgeous penthouse. He had a degree in Computer Science and was accustomed to the finer things in life - designer labels, frequent travel, as well as spa week-ends. When Ray told Julie he would repay her and signed a paper promising to do so, Julie didn't think anything of it.
A few years ago I remember the looks my friend Sarah would get when she mentioned she'd been trying online dating. Admittedly, at the time, I thought she must be desperate; couldn't she meet anyone in 'real' life? Didn't she meet people at work, or at parties?
Many weeks later, Ray tried to hit Julie up for more dollars; this time to furnish his new house. When she told him that she wouldn't be able to help him out this time, he accused her of being cold and then hung up on her.
Julie suddenly understood that she was being taken advantage of. Her hurt quickly turned to rage. She wanted to know how someone could be so self-serving and thoughtless.
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We as females have an innate desire to nurture whenever possible. A lot of of us have learned the hard way that we must always keep our guard up - spot when we may be being misled or taken advantage of.
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When you split up with someone you love, you go through lots of agonizing emotions. You feel sad, depressed and hurt, and you miss them. Can I get my ex back and also what should I do becomes a question you continuously think about.
It is a common belief that a woman who is eager to lend money to a man, suffers from naivety, desperation, or very poor self-esteem. But in this case it was a loan not a present, and a friendship not a romantic relationship.
We all know how risky it is to lend money to a friend of either sex. Some of us make a decision to give the lendee the benefit of the doubt because we believe we know and trust them. Some of us are vigilant enough to take precautions to make the loan legally binding.
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The bottom line is the fact that we need to stop stereo-typing and pointing fingers at a woman who would lend a man money. We need to take a closer look at the character of anyone who would attempt to take advantage of a friend's generosity.
In addition to her respect for him, Julie also lost all compassion for Ray and their so-called friendship deteriorated. The truth of the matter is that no one can respect a man who fails to respect others.
When he performs actions that are self-serving and manipulative, their sincerity, his honor, their integrity, are all called into question.
They say, "It's not what we eat but what we digest that makes us strong; not what we get but what we save that makes us rich; not what we read but what we remember that makes us learned; and not what we profess but what we practice that gives us integrity."
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